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A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

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lol wonder what he told the nurses.

Submitted by RazzleRack on Apr 12, 10 at 9:32am

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- As an ER nurse, he could have said I was masturbating...I would have been weirded out, but I would be more happy that he wasn't crashing. And no, I would not help him.
  
  Submitted by zrhcrx on Apr 12, 10 at 1:44pm
  
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Code Blue!

Submitted by bldrmn on Apr 12, 10 at 12:15pm

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As a nurse I understand that completely.

Submitted by zanern on Apr 12, 10 at 3:39pm

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Brandon?

Submitted by 2144571774 on Apr 12, 10 at 12:27pm

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HILARIOUS

Submitted by Santino on Apr 12, 10 at 10:14am

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Lol...I would pay good money to have this happen at one of my nursing clinicals...somebody come to Michigan and do it lol

Submitted by iUh on Apr 13, 10 at 8:17pm

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Hilarious.

Submitted by louboutinlvr on Apr 12, 10 at 1:06pm

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Good move!!! Should of had the nurses do it for you!

Submitted by milk on Apr 12, 10 at 11:10am

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Hey 11:02, no one may have said it was a man but I think we are all assuming it is as men would be stupid enough to masterbate in s hospital. Women are smarter than that. And I'm a guy so I Can say that lol

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 12, 10 at 12:31pm

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- Most women are smarter than that, but then, so are most men. There's always exceptions, though.
  
  Submitted by Herschel on Apr 12, 10 at 12:51pm
  
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Haha! Classic!!

Submitted by JoePapi on Apr 12, 10 at 10:14am

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Fuck yeah Dallas :))

Submitted by shesamurderer on Apr 12, 10 at 1:49pm

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Thankfully my girl wasnt hooked up to a monitor when we did it in the hospital. Yes she was a patient and this was in Fort Worth. Funny these things happen so close

Submitted by Siphon on Apr 12, 10 at 8:24pm

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- that's an awesome way of telling me you got laid last night. I bet you feel sweet!!!!!
  
  Submitted by sheridanj13 on Apr 12, 10 at 11:34pm
  
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Fuck yeah !!!!

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 12, 10 at 12:19pm

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haha, i broke my ankle a few weeks ago and this was the first ting that poped into my head, so i busted out laughing and everybody thought i was crazy

Submitted by nelsen939 on May 15, 10 at 10:53pm

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Believe it or not I have had two different docs tell me to spank it in the hospital in one hospital stay.

Submitted by zapan on Apr 12, 10 at 8:13pm

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hahahahaha

Submitted by tonydale on Apr 12, 10 at 9:29am

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Bahaha I love thia

Submitted by purpleispretty on Apr 12, 10 at 1:00pm

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Heeheehee. If I'm ever in a nursing home on a life-support system, swear I will do that

Submitted by Degu_Boy on Apr 13, 10 at 1:16am

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- pretty sure you wouldn't be able to do it if you were on life support...
  
  Submitted by dsaucoin14 on May 5, 10 at 12:01pm
  
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Really?

Submitted by ryno24 on Apr 12, 10 at 9:17am

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Being a nurse... I can totally see how that would happen.

Submitted by upthestairs16 on Apr 14, 10 at 11:40am

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Scared seeing heart monitor or ?

Submitted by mk18 on Apr 13, 10 at 6:39am

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haha that's pretty funny. :]

Submitted by leelu on Apr 12, 10 at 9:54am

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New goal to set, thx man

Submitted by yazi87 on Apr 12, 10 at 9:56am

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- No one said this was a man.
  
  Submitted by Iunnos on Apr 12, 10 at 11:02am
  
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Hell yeah Dallas!!!

Submitted by russthebus on Apr 13, 10 at 2:53am

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Oh wow kid lol I would have asked the nurses ;)

Submitted by LittleCloud on Apr 12, 10 at 12:43pm

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Dallas!!!! :)

Submitted by mcloud on Aug 26, 10 at 11:41pm

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hahahhahahahahahahahahahaha

Submitted by rhs2010 on Apr 12, 10 at 3:13pm

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Hahahahahahaha this would be coming from 214!

Submitted by bossman36 on Apr 13, 10 at 1:36am

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L. O. Mother#¥€%'n L.

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 12, 10 at 1:38pm

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Omfg xD

Submitted by birdi3 on Apr 19, 10 at 2:33am

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Next time if they freak out (if only if the nurse is a chick) ask her to do it for u :)

Submitted by jewish96 on Apr 12, 10 at 11:30pm

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been in the hospital 4 times (im very accident prone) and ive never thought to do this. =] love it

Submitted by NationOfThizzlam on Apr 12, 10 at 10:23pm

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Hah. Try masturbating after 2 days with no sleep. Talk about lightning them the thunder.

Submitted by amoney15 on Jan 2, 11 at 5:51am

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Did you ask for a sponge bath after?

Submitted by buberto on Apr 13, 10 at 4:00am

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Hahahahaha

Submitted by astens76 on Apr 12, 10 at 10:43am

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epic. =]

Submitted by fuckayou16 on Apr 12, 10 at 10:51pm

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I'm a nurse and this happens.,, a lot. Ps. To the previous post - just bc you're on a heart monitor doesn't mean you're on life support.,.

Submitted by Anonymous on May 7, 10 at 1:24pm

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Explains why ma grandpa was kick out thn :S

Submitted by rockabla on Oct 22, 10 at 7:54pm

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Hahahaha! Wth?

Submitted by qwertyuiopasdfgh on Apr 28, 10 at 6:15pm

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This is funny. Especially because my sister is a nurse that works in a Dallas hospital

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 13, 10 at 5:55am

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Lol I did that too.

Submitted by plee85 on Apr 12, 10 at 9:18am

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Wow....

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 12, 10 at 9:15am

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Hahaha.....ICU Jack Tach. See that all too often.

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 15, 10 at 11:20pm

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Wonder if they fed it back through the IV to him...

Submitted by sheridanj13 on Apr 12, 10 at 11:35pm

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Not code blue code white the cum is spraying out

Submitted by colechan on Apr 27, 10 at 10:45pm

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Omg I'm a nurse n I woulda poured a jug of iced cold water on u! Ha

Submitted by britney09 on Apr 19, 10 at 12:57pm

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HOLY SHIT! i think my cousin works there and i think they figured out what was going on. 9721469

Submitted by xerces1492 on Apr 21, 10 at 1:58am

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I hope they didn't stop him otherwise they'd have to call a code blue...ball!

Submitted by princessfrogley on May 20, 12 at 10:16pm

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Ask the nurses to help. It's the LAW

Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 8, 10 at 8:25pm

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

Submitted by btchtts on Apr 12, 10 at 9:23am

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thats funny y would you masterbate in a hospital anyway? thats gross

Submitted by bitch2012 on Apr 14, 10 at 9:11am

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Iv dun this!!

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 16, 10 at 3:46pm

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Pure awesomeness hahaha

Submitted by epictwizzler on Apr 14, 10 at 12:36am

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Come in there like " sir are you ok?" ""yeah I just had an awsome orgasm!""

Submitted by elijah354 on Apr 16, 10 at 5:36pm

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Im a nurse in ICU. Why on earth do you men masturbate in a hospital when ur sick?? What is turning you on???! Lol.

Submitted by heartBurnTurd on May 17, 12 at 3:00pm

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If I was one of those nurses I wouldn't be scared, more like turned on

Submitted by skatergirl126 on Apr 6, 13 at 9:25pm

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(214): View more from Texas

Comments

Submitted by RazzleRack on Apr 12, 10 at 9:32am

Submitted by zrhcrx on Apr 12, 10 at 1:44pm

Submitted by bldrmn on Apr 12, 10 at 12:15pm

Submitted by zanern on Apr 12, 10 at 3:39pm

Submitted by 2144571774 on Apr 12, 10 at 12:27pm

Submitted by Santino on Apr 12, 10 at 10:14am

Submitted by iUh on Apr 13, 10 at 8:17pm

Submitted by louboutinlvr on Apr 12, 10 at 1:06pm

Submitted by milk on Apr 12, 10 at 11:10am

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 12, 10 at 12:31pm

Submitted by Herschel on Apr 12, 10 at 12:51pm

Submitted by JoePapi on Apr 12, 10 at 10:14am

Submitted by shesamurderer on Apr 12, 10 at 1:49pm

Submitted by Siphon on Apr 12, 10 at 8:24pm

Submitted by sheridanj13 on Apr 12, 10 at 11:34pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 12, 10 at 12:19pm

Submitted by nelsen939 on May 15, 10 at 10:53pm

Submitted by zapan on Apr 12, 10 at 8:13pm

Submitted by tonydale on Apr 12, 10 at 9:29am

Submitted by purpleispretty on Apr 12, 10 at 1:00pm

Submitted by Degu_Boy on Apr 13, 10 at 1:16am

Submitted by dsaucoin14 on May 5, 10 at 12:01pm

Submitted by ryno24 on Apr 12, 10 at 9:17am

Submitted by upthestairs16 on Apr 14, 10 at 11:40am

Submitted by mk18 on Apr 13, 10 at 6:39am

Submitted by leelu on Apr 12, 10 at 9:54am

Submitted by yazi87 on Apr 12, 10 at 9:56am

Submitted by Iunnos on Apr 12, 10 at 11:02am

Submitted by russthebus on Apr 13, 10 at 2:53am

Submitted by LittleCloud on Apr 12, 10 at 12:43pm

Submitted by mcloud on Aug 26, 10 at 11:41pm

Submitted by rhs2010 on Apr 12, 10 at 3:13pm

Submitted by bossman36 on Apr 13, 10 at 1:36am

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 12, 10 at 1:38pm

Submitted by birdi3 on Apr 19, 10 at 2:33am

Submitted by jewish96 on Apr 12, 10 at 11:30pm

Submitted by NationOfThizzlam on Apr 12, 10 at 10:23pm

Submitted by amoney15 on Jan 2, 11 at 5:51am

Submitted by buberto on Apr 13, 10 at 4:00am

Submitted by astens76 on Apr 12, 10 at 10:43am

Submitted by fuckayou16 on Apr 12, 10 at 10:51pm

Submitted by Anonymous on May 7, 10 at 1:24pm

Submitted by rockabla on Oct 22, 10 at 7:54pm

Submitted by qwertyuiopasdfgh on Apr 28, 10 at 6:15pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 13, 10 at 5:55am

Submitted by plee85 on Apr 12, 10 at 9:18am

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 12, 10 at 9:15am

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 15, 10 at 11:20pm

Submitted by sheridanj13 on Apr 12, 10 at 11:35pm

Submitted by colechan on Apr 27, 10 at 10:45pm

Submitted by britney09 on Apr 19, 10 at 12:57pm

Submitted by xerces1492 on Apr 21, 10 at 1:58am

Submitted by princessfrogley on May 20, 12 at 10:16pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 8, 10 at 8:25pm

Submitted by btchtts on Apr 12, 10 at 9:23am

Submitted by bitch2012 on Apr 14, 10 at 9:11am

Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 16, 10 at 3:46pm

Submitted by epictwizzler on Apr 14, 10 at 12:36am

Submitted by elijah354 on Apr 16, 10 at 5:36pm

Submitted by heartBurnTurd on May 17, 12 at 3:00pm

Submitted by skatergirl126 on Apr 6, 13 at 9:25pm

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