Texts From Last Night · heartBurnTurd's Favorites

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heartBurnTurd's Favorites Texts:

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(315): View more from New York

she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker

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(407): View more from Florida

You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??

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(210): View more from Texas

I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.

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