you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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