I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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