So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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