If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
