Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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