I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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