we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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