We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize