I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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