I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
