Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
