just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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