I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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