You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
