I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
