You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you didnt know i had herpes?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
