We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Randomize
