Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
