this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
