Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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