She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
