End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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