thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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