Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
