is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize