A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
