...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
