She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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