apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
