We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize