He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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