Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
