I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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