no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
