singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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