If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Green mimosas i think yes
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
