Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
