good thing vaginas are great cup holders
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
