i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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