Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
