The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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