this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
