dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
