winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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