shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
