dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize