Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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