Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
