Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
