I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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