So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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