How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
