the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
