Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
