I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
