I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
