I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
