I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
