just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
