I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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