I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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