This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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