omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
