Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
