I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize