There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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