Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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