just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
