mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
