Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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