Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
