where does the pee come out of this thing
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
