hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
