I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
