this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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