My cat gives me a boner
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
